There’s no debate as to who stole the gaming spotlight when it came to everyone’s excitement with playing Resident Evil Village. I mean, if you haven’t seen his YouTube videos yet, Markiplier was dead set on keeping Crystal Dimitrescu with him and showing her the sights every once in a while. No, not even death could take her away from him.
And everyone else just wanted to be stepped on.
Which according to this YouTube analysis from Kyle Hill would prove to be quite…deadly.
But even after the game’s been released already for quite some time, there’s no end to the simping of Lady Dimitrescu. She will forever be remembered, and if flashbacks from the Resident Evil game isn’t enough for you, I’m here to point out some products that you might enjoy having in your gaming area…to reminisce on her power, her beauty, and the beat-down she gave you.
Alcina Dimitrescu Products
Lady Dimitrescu Figurines
- NSFW staircase pose – She’s pretty sexy in this one, with a goblet in one hand and kind of leaning over the banister to give you a full show of her front with her booty kind of sticking out. Because she’s always been such a tease in the game–walking away, not noticing our snooping, etc.
- Big busty woman – If you’re not really interested in having a full body figurine of Dimitrescu, then there’s always this bust of her from the boobs up. You know, the main focal point. You can be like Ethan when he was hanging by those hooks, looking down into that cleavage. Except hopefully you’re not hanging by hooks, but rather just standing up and looking down on it.
- Lounging lady – There’s a lot of detail going on in this one. We’ve gout our Lady lounging in a regal looking chair, with candles around her (they look like they can light up, but I’m not totally sure about that) and some undead hands rising from the floor. That one’s a bit odd. I mean, I realize she’s kind of like a vampire, but she’s more of a monster that doesn’t deal in the undead. I mean, her daughters are basically swarms of flies. But from the looks of it, you can customize her a bit on what she wears–I personally dig the long nails.
- Lady in white – I think this is my favorite, because it has a darker style and theme. Her foot is stepping in what looks like a puddle of blood that’s swirling upward, one of those obnoxious crows is sitting on a circle of boulders, and then there’s a cross made from logs that her other leg is hiked up on. Not to mention the lovely lingerie and accessories.
- Crystal Dimitrescu – This looks like an amazing rendition of when you’ve defeated Alcina Dimitrescu and end up with her crystal. While you could sell it in-game for a lot of money (unless you did what Markiplier did), this figurine assures that it will, indeed, always stay with you.
Lady Dimitrescu Prints
- Lady on throne – We’ve got our Lady Dimitrescu lounging in a velvet chair, and I have to say I love the shading done on her dress.
- Something on her face – This is a sensual piece of work that features the upper body and face of Dimitrescu, with a smidge of blood beside her lip. Probably from tasting Ethan, no doubt.
- Downward gaze – A cosplay print, in case you ever wanted to know what it would look like if you yourself knelt before the Tall Lady. Luckily, it doesn’t look like her foot is raised.
- In-game portrait – Remember the room with the bells you had to shoot and ring in order to open an extremely tall painting? Well, this is that really tall painting that was in-game.
Lady Dimitrescu Mousepad
- 3D boobas – You know those 3D mousepads that feature women with busty bosoms as the place where you can rest your wrist on? Well, here’s one you’ve always wanted but never asked for.
- Bloody dribble – I love the artwork, as it’s obviously right after she probably lopped off Ethan’s hand after shoving him through the floor. The bloody dribble on her dress is a nice touch as it attracts your eyes from the claws, downward. Kind of a shame her face is in the middle though, because your keyboard will more than likely be sitting on top of it.
- Psycho stare – My favorite of the mousepads, because she clearly looks unhinged. Plus, it’s like that moment when she’s looking for you, and you make an accidental noise that makes her head whip around–and eye contact is made.
Lady Dimitrescu Mugs
- Gothic roses – If you prefer dark tones to your coffee mugs, then here she is with a lovely bouquet of black and red roses. The paleness of her face really stands out.
- Stylish font – Honestly, while it doesn’t show us a portrait of Dimitrescu, I liked it for the filigree design as well as font choice. It might be something you’d see one of the daughters drinking your blood out of, if they didn’t prefer it straight from the source.
- Red flowers – The artist was definitely favoring a red color scheme with this one. Almost looks like you’ve got blood in your eyes as you’re looking at her. As John Wolfe always states, red means danger.
Lady Dimitrescu Twitch Emotes
- Heart-holding – If you’re on Twitch and are looking for a unique heart emoji, here the Lady is holding a heart up–luckily not a realistic looking one. Though she kind of looks angry that it’s not a realistic one.
- Mommy – I don’t know if I’d ever want a mommy like this emote suggests, but she’s got the killer claws out for you.
